does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
