im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
