before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
