Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
