I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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