Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
