He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
