I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
