Small penises have feelings too.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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