Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
