Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
