Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
