Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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