I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
