you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
