he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
