I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
