Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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