You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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