yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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