Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
