Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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