We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
