There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
