Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
