you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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