He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
