i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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