it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
