We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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