I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
