I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
