2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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