You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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