you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
