Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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