Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
