I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just found puke in my bra..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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