one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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