There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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