Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
