He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
