hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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