never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize