it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
