Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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