chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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