my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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