he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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