Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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