Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
